Is the Gentleman Feeling Alright? – Chapter 33

　　
　　The moon was bright in the serene night, the courtyard was like a reflection of moonlight in accumulated water, the shadows of bamboo and cedar lumping to cover the ground like a criss-cross of seagrass. There was a youth practicing his swordsmanship in the courtyard by himself, in the silence there was only the sound of the blade slicing through the wind.

　　Chen Siheng’s energy was dwindling, the sword stance he’d brandished wobbling for an instant, which caused the sword to slip out of his grip and land on the ground. He reacted quickly and took a step back, only managing not to let it hit his foot. He just stared at the sword for a long while moodily, then sighed heavily. Chen Siheng stroked the dagger in the (breast of his robes)¹, bending down and couldn’t help but mumble softly:

　　”Jingshu-jiejie……I’m still unable to hate you ah……”

　　Suddenly with a zhiya (creaking) sound, the heavy doors to the residence were pushed open by someone, allowing breeze to blow through and into the courtyard. Chen Siheng grabbed his sword in one motion, sharply turning around to stare vigilantly at the approaching person, “Who’s there?!”

　　He only saw two black-clothed men pushing open the doors and then standing to the two sides, and after that two teams of black-clothed men followed them in. Their expressions were cold, and they parted in rows to the left and right.

　　This spectacle soaked Chen Siheng’s back in cold sweat in that instant. He stared fixedly at the last person to step in, not daring to move an inch.

　　The person approaching in the dark of the night had a tall and elegant bearing, lotuses embroidered on his robes like blood, there seemed to be a smile in his eyes yet also seemed not, “Why is it this sort of expression, you don’t know me anymore?”

　　Chen Siheng’s shock quickly morphed into joy: “General Chu?! You’ve come to see me?!”

　　”En,” Chu Mingyun said, “Came to see if you’ve died or not.”

　　The excitement that had filled his chest was instantly doused out, the corner of Chen Siheng’s lips twitched, and he could not reply to that.

　　Chu Mingyun considered the surroundings, and then casually asked him a bit about the his daily life, when he suddenly turned the topic of conversation, saying: “My purpose in coming this time is because I have things to ask, even if you don’t want to recall it you still have to answer me honestly, alright?”

　　Chen Siheng laughed, somewhat relieved, “It’s been so long, I’ve long come to terms with it. There’s nothing I’m unwilling to recall, you can go ahead and ask.”

　　”When the mishap happened to your family, what exactly did you hear?”

　　”I didn’t know anything,” Chen Siheng shook his head, “When Grandfather sent us away, no matter what I asked, they would only tell me it was nothing, yet that night when the (house) caught fire it was really too sudden, everything was a chaotic mess, I was completely unable to see or hear anything.” He paused, “……I only saw Jingshu-jiejie rushing in to bring me out.”

　　Chu Mingyun knitted his brow slightly, and asked: “That day in the Red Sleeve House, before I arrived what were you going to tell Su Shiyu originally?”

　　”Jingshu-jiejie told me to say the other party called themselves the Grand Marshall,” Chen Siheng looked at him, and suddenly said worriedly: “That’s right ah, General Chu, who is the Grand Marshall, could he really be the one who harmed my family?”

　　Chu Mingyun expressionlessly looked at him, “It’s me.”

　　”Ah?” Chen Siheng could not react, “But……but aren’t you a general?”

　　”When dealing with political affairs at court my designation is the Grand Marshall, on the battlefield naturally it’s as a general.” Chu Mingyun explained, the glint in his eyes becoming slightly cold, “Let me think, if it wasn’t for me coincidentally bumping into Su Shiyu that day, was she planning to then tell me the other party is the Grand Secretary?”

　　Thereby driving a wedge between the two of them, letting the Chu faction have an internal conflict with the Su faction to their mutual detriment, in order to gain the fisherman’s profit.²

　　”They truly calculated a good scheme.” He sneered a laugh, taking out the bronze seal from his sleeve, “Brat, then do you know what this is meant to be used for?”

　　Chen Siheng took it, and shook his head, then nodded after thinking carefully.

　　”En?”

　　”There’s a Gege (T/N: generic address for older brother)who frequently comes to see Jinghu-jiejie, there was once I saw that Gege give this thing to her to use, and after that quite a lot of people started listening to her orders.” Chen Siheng said, “I guess, it must be something like a token of authority or something to prove one’s status.”

　　”Then have you ever heard them mention Huainan?”

　　”Never did.” This, Chen Siheng could answer resolutely and without hesitation³.

　　Chu Mingyu nodded and took back the bronze seal, seeming pensive.

　　Seeing that he’d finished his line of questioning, Chen Siheng looked at those black-clothed men, and could not help but ask: “General Chu, are those people your subordinates?”

　　Chu Mingyun turned his head back to glance, “Shadow guards.”

　　Chen Siheng’s eyes lit up, carefully sizing up his expression, and drumming up the courage to say: “Then do you think……I could also become your shadow guard?”

　　Chu Mingyun suddenly laughed out loud upon hearing those words, “Do you know what the shadow guards signify?”

　　”……The owner’s shadow?” He guessed.

　　”Correct,” Chu Mingyun unhurriedly sized him up, “So you think, why would I agree to want such a short shadow?”

　　Chen Siheng: “……”

　　Chu Mingyun smiled, turning to walk outside, casually waving his hand, “Suppress your breath and compose your spirit, (if) you can hold tight to your sword then we’ll talk, when I have a use for you I’ll naturally call on you.”

　　Chen Siheng yelled in delighted surprise: “Really?”
　　Nobody replied, in the span of a blink the shadow guards had brought the doors closed once again, the courtyard returning to its quiet, without any evident traces, as though no one had ever come by.
　　
　　Taking the steed on a stroll and trotting slowly along the old roads in the direction of returning to the capital, the horse stepped on the fresh grass soundlessly. The shadow guards accompanying from behind were also wordless in their silence. Chu Mingyun seemed to be deep in his own thoughts about something, the light in his eyes seeming adrift. He suddenly reined in his horse and halted, raising his hand to prevent the shadow guards from asking questions, and slightly leaned his head to listen carefully.

　　There was an extremely thin and delicate stream of the qin being played, a quiet and desolate melody faintly discernible from it. It had a faint melancholy to it, but was also as plain as a spring-fed stream’s flow over rocks, gently sloping without audible peaks.

　　Chu Mingyun was engrossed in listening to it for a moment, then dismounted his horse to stand, tossing the reins to a shadow guard behind him, “You guys go back first.” After he said this he left without unceremoniously⁴.

　　He followed the sound of the qin, walking as delicately as the parting of flowers and flicking of willows. After pushing aside a branch that flourished with peach blossoms in his line of sight, he was suddenly enlightened. He had a brief unconscious jolt of panic, crushing the red petals beneath his fingers, splotching his fingers with a bit of fragrance that soaked into his nails.

　　The torrential flow of the Ba River accompanied the pavilion of parting, the moonlight was like a layer of frosting, landing on the desolate figure of the white-robed youth in the pavilion. The youth sat on a mat within the pavilion, his back leaning on vermilion pillars of the pavillion. A paulownia wood qin was placed on his knees, he lowered his head as he pressed sounds from the silk strings; his long hair leaning in front of him with his movements, and on his white robes patterned with silver cloud embroidery, they seemed like deep meanders of ink on white parchment. Those lowered brows and eyes were familiarly handsome and good-looking.

　　The common people indeed didn’t have a bad eye, in this land apart from him there were few others who deserved (the title of) being gentle and kind-hearted as jade. Hearing footsteps Su Shiyu raised his head and looked over, the sounds of the qin waving as they lingered. He looked at the person who walked right up to him, “How are you here?”

　　”I wanted to ask you that instead.” Chu Mingyun looked around him once, realising that he (Su Shiyu) was by his lonesome, “Heard qin sounds while on the road, I even thought it was some musician or songstress. But after seeking it out, unexpectedly it was Master Su here. (You’re) truly refined and leisurely.”

　　Su Shiyu said blandly: “Sorry to disappoint Master Chu that (I’m) not a musician or songstress, if you leave now it’s not too late.”

　　”Master Su still hurrying me off?” Chu Mingyun raised his brows slightly. “You don’t want to see me, s’that it?” (T/N: colloquial structure used here)

　　”How could that be.” Su shiyu laughed lightly.

　　”Was it a mourning song that you were playing just now?” Chu Mingyun squatted in front of him, slightly slanting his head and staring at him, “You’re actually reminiscing about an old departed acquaintance⁵?”

　　”So what,” Su Shiyu laughed, “Is Master Chu planning to comfort me?”

　　Chu Mingyun let out a laugh, “You are able to not bat an eyelid even when your blood-related uncle dies in front of you, why would you even need me to comfort you.”

　　Su Shiyu lowered his eyes and didn’t answer, his fingers placed over the qin strings once more.

　　Chu Mingyun also didn’t mind, lifting his robe and sitting shoulder-to-shoulder with Su Shiyu, raising a hand to tap him, “Change the song.”

　　”……” Su Shiyu turned his eyes to look at him, “You’re really taking me for a songstress or entertainer?”

　　”If I wanted to find a songstress or entertainer I wouldn’t want to listen to you playing.” Chu Mingyun replied matter-of-factly.

　　”That’s true,” Su Shiyu let out a laugh, “Jiangnan’s number-one female qin entertainers have all been bought over at great expense to be sent to your residence, you indeed don’t lack for someone to play the qin.”

　　Chu Mingyun turned his head to look at him, and said with unclear intent: “You seem to know quite a bit about my matters.”

　　The movements of Su Shiyu’s fingers paused slightly, and soon after he said flatly: “It was only because that Lady Ruji was of such extensive repute, even I have heard of her.” I once thought of asking her for lessons, too bad there’s no longer the opportunity. But I didn’t expect that afterward you’d dismiss them so cleanly, such that even to this day there is not even a slight trace.”

　　Chu Mingyun laughed lowly: “Isn’t this me proving my deep affections for you?”

　　Su Shiyu avoided his gaze, “Seeing as such it seems that I can only ask you, is Lady Ruji’s qin skills really as exceptional as the rumors say?”

　　Chu Mingyun thought back on it a bit, and gave a three-word assessment: “Makes me sleepy⁶.”

　　Su Shiyu couldn’t help but give him a profound look, “Given Master Chu’s extent of ability to appreciate (music), pardon me for honestly being unable to think of a reason why I would waste effort to perform for you.”

　　”All the way out in the boonies⁷ in the late in the night, I came especially to listen to Master Su playing qin instead of returning to my residence. Yet you’d unexpectedly shun me, really hurts one’s feelings ah.” Chu Mingyunlet out a faint sigh.

　　”…What do you want to listen to?”

　　Chu Mingyun thought about it, “The Prince of Lanling enters battle.”

　　Upon hearing this Su Shiyu suddenly lifted his eyes, gaze landing on his face and scrutinizing him for a moment, “Speaking of this, I’ve actually thought of a question I’ve long wanted to ask you.”

　　”The Prince of Lanling often suffered humiliation and slights on the battlefield because of his delicate beauty, and so fashioned a sinister-looking golden mask to intimidate his enemies. Then this face of yours, how did it sweep over the battlefield?” (T/N: He’s asking how he managed to domineer the army and the battlefield with such a feminine-looking face).

　　”That’s quite easy,” Chu Mingyun laughed coldly, “If there are any who are disrespectful, if among your enemies torture them to death, if among your troops punish heavily, without even two months, there was no longer anyone in the army who dared to stare at my looks head-on.”

　　”(You’re) truly strict in managing troops.” Su Shiyu said, and it was hard to distinguish if this was praise or censure, after muttering to himself for a long while he abruptly asked softly: “Frankly speaking, I think you’re not actually someone who covets glory and splendor, and even completely lack interest in many earthly things; so why did you want to enter the battlefield and rise to court after all?”

　　”Do you want to hear the truth or a lie?” Chu Mingyun looked at him.

　　”If (I) wanted to hear a lie why would I bother asking you?” Su Shiyu returned his look.
　　Chu Mingyun moved away his line of sight, gazing at the thousand-tiered silhouettes of far-off mountains⁸, the hazy greenish-blue chain of peaks and the clear silver-white flash of the river flow then entered his dark-coloured eyes. He muttered to himself for a moment before speaking up, his tone indifferent as usual, but (his words were) vociferous⁹. “If I absolutely had to voice it, what I want is to expand the territory thousands of miles, and summon respect from all directions.”

　　Su Shiyu was stunned, but quickly turned away his gaze, raising his hands to place on the qin strings, the glistening white moonlight divided evenly on his fingers.

　　The song started off sophisticated¹⁰, the sound clear and far-reaching like that of pearls dropping on a jade plate, the sound turned into the thunderous beating of battle drums, gradually slipping into the clanging strikes of the golden battle-axe, all the while the cavalry and icy rivers rolled along.

　　The tide of sound filled the vermilion pavilion, Chu Mingyun propped up his elbows on his knees, leaning over his head and supporting his cheek, and spaced out staring at Su Shiyu.

　　No matter how much a person detested Su Shiyu they’d still have to admit one thing, that he was born with a really pretty body. There was hardly ever a dearth in slander and gossip, someone said the arc of those thin lips hooking (into a smile/smirk) could absorb a person’s soul, people said the posture he had when that fair hand stained with a bloody air held a fan was the most moving.

　　Yet Su Shiyu now suddenly realised, those eyes of his was what really made someone unable to fend off blows from. When it held a smile it was like a flooding river in spring, brimming over with (sun)light; when he was solemn and calm it was like the cold and limpid light of the moon reflected in an autumn river.

　　Abruptly flipping his fingers and stopping the stringing, one song came to an end. The tide of the music receded, leaving all of the land quiet and still¹¹ for a moment.

　　Chu Mingyun’s had yet to start moving, staring at him for a moment in silence before suddenly speaking up: “Is your face a little bit red?”

　　”……” Su Shiyu sighed soundlessly, “No matter who it is that receiving that fixed stare of yours for a long while, they’d be uncomfortable.”

　　So Chu Mingyun laughed slowly, “You’re better.”

　　”What?” Su Shiyu was slightly surprised, facing that pair of eyes gradually deepening with humor, and actually could not return to his senses for a while.

　　Chu Mingyun pointed to the qin on his knees, “Jiangnan’s number-one, is far from being your equal.”
　　”Many thanks for your praise.” Su Shiyu took back his gaze and laughed. It’s just that in these few words¹², though it was in an exhale, there was a repressed feeling that could not be clearly expressed noiselessly climbing upward, and would not appear despite being carved out.
　　Chu Mingyun turned his head back, relaxed his body to lean on the pavilion railing, “You continue playing your thing, no need to mind me.”

　　Su Shiyu responded indifferently, but he suddenly spoke up again: “Right.”

　　”What is it?”

　　”Do you eat sweets, I can split some of the pine nut brittle with you.”

　　Su Shiyu then let out a light laugh. Declining to comment, he casually started up a clear, elegant little tune.

　　Chu Mingyun no longer spoke up, closing his eyes as if he was a little fatigued. The music gently entered his ears, he seemed to feel as if the position was uncomfortable, suddenly slightly moving his figure. He tilted his body to lean on the pavilion pillar, his shoulder pressing against Su Shiyu’s, that loosed crow-colored long hair slipping downward with his slight recline, landing on Su Shiyu’s shoulder, and then was lifted by the night breeze to sweep across Su Shiyu’s lower jaw, a little ticklish feeling and numbness that was hard to describe.

　　Suddenly afflicted with inexplicable palpitations, Mulahe’s voice distinctly sounded out in his ear:
　　
　　”That’s why……”
　　”That’s why, Anyi’ruo is in love with him¹³ right?”
　　
　　Su Shiyu fingers went out of alignment, making an unsteady qin sound.

　　In that instant ten thousand butterflies suddenly flapped their wings and took flight, (his) chest filled with the beating of butterfly wings, heart thrown completely into confusion there could be no order.
　　
　　”The four generations of the Su family, is not lacking for you as a general.”

　　”I will never again bring you to the battlefield, from now on you only need learn how to become a civil official.”
　　
　　”What I want is to expand the territory thousands of miles, and summon respect from all directions.”
　　
　　——Is it love?¹⁴
　　
　　”He’s important to the country, still why do you have be so nice to him?”
　　“When Pretty Gege is around the fog disappears!”
　　
　　There’s plenty I want to guess, for example what you think of me.”
　　——Is it love?
　　
　　”Don’t you have a heart?”
　　“Heartless and desire-less, incapable of shedding blood and tears! You just go on like this, and you should have lifelong loneliness!”
　　
　　”I already said I invited you to drink in celebration, why do you still keep frowning?”
　　
　　——Is it love?
　　
　　”Would Beloved Subject Su like this type?”
　　“We’ve forgotten. There is nothing you’ve ever liked.”
　　
　　——Is it not love?
　　
　　……Then why is the sound of my heartbeat quake painfully like it’s breaking.
　　
　　Su Shiyu stopped his hands, the qin strings still vibrating, yet the song had long gone off-tune, a disorderly jumble just like his tumultuous feelings. A little nervous, a little delighted, a little bit at a loss, and also a slight pain on the tip of his heart that could not be ignored. It turns out that what they say is not all false.

　　Su Shiyu lightly raised his head and let out a long sigh, and after a long, long while, he slowly turned his head to look at Chu Mingyun beside him. He seemed to be completely unaware of everything, still resting with his eyes closed, brows calm and at ease.

　　Su Shiyu stared at him for a long while, suddenly raising his hand to slowly stretch forward, fingers extending very cautiously, wanting to touch his eyes. This simple movement took too long, great changes occurred in the time¹⁵ of one sigh, the sounds of flowing water and the wind streaked past his ear, in the end his hand paused an inch away, and as if frozen solid it was hard to get any closer.

　　Because Chu Mingyun suddenly opened his eyes, looking at the fingers in front of his eyes without a shred of expression.

　　Su Shiyu’s eyes instantly regained their tranquility, and his mental state sobered back up. His hand bent into a extremely slight curve, and as if it was just a careless pause just now, plucked off a hair from Chu Mingyun’s temple in passing, after bringing it below his eyes and earnestly looking at it, he blandly said: “It turns out I saw wrong, I thought it was a white hair.”
　　Chu Mingyun looked at him, raising his hand, rubbing at the twinge of his temple.
　　

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The author has something to say:
The person to be moved first is the one who loses.

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T/N: That was a nightmare chapter to translate, not least because it’s 50% longer than the other chapters. Next chapter is only 2.4k so hopefully I’ll get it out on schedule. Today’s is a little late for Mid-Autumn. There are so many different origin stories for this festival, who knows how it really came about. They say it was one of the Imperial family’s sacred rites, because in the Book of Rites it says “天子春潮日，秋夕月”, meaning to offer worship to the sun in spring and to the moon in autumn, and this festival was born out from the literati and common folk’s mimicry of the practices of offering worship to or celebrating the moon. As for why it is called 中秋; it doesn’t actually mark the middle of autumn, it is the 15th of the eighth lunar month, which means that it is second full moon of autumn. So it is suggested that this day is called 仲秋 (‘仲’ meaning second in order) and this got corrupted to 中秋. Anyway, whether you gather with family, simply eat mooncakes or reserve enough energy to shoot down the sun, I wish you a happy Mid-Autumn!

1. 怀里 – As with previous instances, this phrase is used to indicate placement tucked against one’s bosom rather than in one’s arms.

2. 渔翁之利 – reference to the same idiom mentioned in Chapter 22 (ref footnote 13 in that chapter)

3. 斩钉截铁 – literally ‘to chop nails and slice iron’, that’s how firm CSH’s answer was.

4. 径自 – without consulting anyone / without so much as a ‘by your leave’, though in this case he DID tell them to leave so I chose ‘unceremoniously’.

5. 故人 is one of those phrases hard to translate without enough context. The best over-arching term is ‘someone you used to know’, but whether that is an old lover or friend, whether you grew apart or lost the other person to death;; there’s like 5 meanings there. I interpreted it as an old friend that died since he was playing a ‘song of loss’, and you know, Mulahe

6. 听着困 – “listening to it (makes me feel) sleepy” but I wanted to make it literally 3 words like the original.

7. 荒郊野岭 – common phrases that fully translates to ‘desolate areas far from town, in the wilds of the mountains’

8.千叠山影 – reference to the line ‘山影酒摇千叠翠’ from Liu Yin’s poem 《高亭》.

9. 落地有声- literally ‘making sound once it hit the floor’.

10. 起弦风雅 – might be a reference to the song 华胥引

11. 万籁俱寂 – literally ‘ten thousand living things were collectively silent’.

12. 只言片语 – idiom literally meaning ‘few words and isolated phrases’

13.是喜欢着他吗 – contains the phrase ‘liking him’ but has an extra word so I took it as a colloquialism for being in love with him.

14. 喜欢吗？- these are meant to be echoes of Mulahe’s statement above, where SSY is asking himself, does he like CMY. So the most direct translation would be, “Is this like?” But then the last one would be “Is this not like?” and these just sound kind of awkward so I translated Mulahe’s words and this phrase to “love” instead. (You know they barely use the word 爱 in danmei anyway)

15. 沧海桑田 – literally ‘the blue sea turns into mulberry fields’, an idiom referring to how the world is transformed with the passage of time. This is just SSY’s internal voice being super dramatic I guess.